Epilogue

The content about:

• how simple of my view points about being a teacher. The story started from my motivation to be a teacher in a little village, move to the story of changing mind to be a lecture. Then move to the story my first realisation about many thing need to know to be a good teacher (in master degree). then the meaning of this journey [my research on teacher and being ethnographer in Jack's classroom] to my understanding of being a teacher.
• teacher professional development. This study gave a better understanding about teacher's learning, teacher's change. I was so confident with what I was doing in facilitating the teachers. I was happy seeing them changing in mind and benefited from my work. I was happy knowing their realisation from their oral and writing reflection. I heard their struggle of the implementation of what they understood, but I di not understand what to do. This study realyy gave a better insight on what factors influencing the teacher's learning.
• The uses of the Internet. The first time I benefited from the Internet, I was thingking the power of the internet. How the teachers might benefited from this as I had. I assigned my University lectures with task to access the Internet. I notice the complains about the lack of resources in our languages. But I do not stop thinking that this is very good for teachers. My journey in this study convincedme more about the Internet potential, until my interaction with Jack, I started to understand better the challanges and the implication of of the Internet for learning.
• I can really saw how different the learning facilitated by different teachers with different knowledge and beliefs.
• Research experiences. It's hard to decribe how invaluable of doing this research. From my reading I understand that most of research students faced many challenges and stryggle with it. But I value that I have a very specific challenge. Here is my first experiences studying abroad, coming from a very limited resources. How simple my learning when i just think that I just need to read certain books. My first arriving here could see how much the references. i was excited. I wanted to read every thing. I made a very detail notes on many differents. Until I realised, I need so much time. Then I found my self so exhausted with so much reading. I could not change the words on my note. it was such beutiful sentences, how can I pharaphrase them. I struggle a long the way, I am trying to maintain myconfidence. I always remind my self the thinging I had when I want to leave my country: I had nothing excep my confidence and my skills to ask questions. In short, i was started this study with learning making sentences until composing paragraph and chapters. Thingking in two languages then thingking in one language. Now i understand that i had a wrong image how simple doing Phd without any course for 4 years. How long it was and with only one research task. Now, I am understanding that research need time a lot to read, to understand, to decide, to solve the problems, to present ideas, and so on.
• Supervisions. i have learn a lot from this process. This the first time in my life that having supervisors and having meeting without any wory and frightened. Personality, the professionalism, and the good approach of my supervisors were a good learning for me. The way how they facilitate e, engange me in lnto the learning were a big secret that I need to learn in the process of my supervisions with my prospective research student.
• Resaerch [2], remeber to include the dicision to conduct this study in Austrlia. In one side that it would be difficult in Indonesia, in anoteher side that it is possible in Australia but i could be very difficult, facing new system with limited language and ery different situation But again my beliefs really helped me to do it. Remeber also how hard at the firs, online dictionary was a very useful tool. This is describing the learning. No matter how much we have, where we are but et us move as good as possible, sejauh mungkin. Anf this is the essence of ongoing learning, ongoing professional development.