Monday again

Reflection on 2 days activities.

I am coming into this conference since because I am hoping to learn a lot from others.
Even tough, I cannot deny, feeling nervous to attending a meeting with other believers.
Why I am still so nervous?
Even though I already involve in believing women several years ago, But it si always questionable for me if it is the right path.
This is a reflection of how big the influence of our previous experience, our existing beliefs.
I grew up from a little village in Indonesia. Most of activities, every morning I swam in the river (please imagine, river with lots of rubbish, sometimes with brown colour), before going to public school and every afternoon after school (Madrasah)

My father never push me to pray, not asking me to learn Islam, except, asking me to may grandma house to lear to read Alqur'an (in Arabic). I red them without understanding the meaning.

In English, when I read table, I can imagine the object, but in Arabic, most of the word, I can just read them without understanding.

Even though my mum did not teach Islam, but now I realise that they teach me the lesson in Islam. How to respect other people, in particular, how to help any people, and also, never eating things that not halal, or in a clearer statement, never ever do a corruption.

In madrasah, we also learn some story telling, writing Arabic.

Uptill I reach University, where I founf many things.
- the emphasise that Islam is the only right to do.
- Other religion is wrong, even sometimes, saying bad things about other religion.

At the University, I have experienced many new things, that my father really never talk about it.
such as:
- I might have a potential to be a leaders, indicating by having lots of negotiation with people, for example to .......jubah/cadar
- Therefore, people wanted me to be a chair of one Muslimah organisastion in my faculty.
And here I started to face questionable situations.
my organisation was invited to come to a nasional meeting of Muslim students society. I was a long travel, ship, train, bus, about 3 days to achieve.
Sadly, we were rejected to join the conference because we were women.
It was their decision from the prevoius annual meeting that women cannot join the national, because of syariah. Women traveling withouh muhrim (e.g, husband & parents) cannot travel, so they onli can join in the district level.